Self Awareness
Self Awareness
One of the first pillars of emotional intelligence is self-awareness. This is the process of better understanding your feelings through self-observation and self-inquiry.
It requires that we look at our emotions from an objective viewpoint, and then be honest about what’s causing them and how they are influencing our actions.
your feelings can be misleading if you always react to them without question. In certain times, it’s a good idea to step back and question your feelings before you choose the best way to respond to them.
What am I feeling? Don’t just say you feel “good” or “bad” – be specific. Is it “sadness” or “anger” or “disappointment?” Try your best to find one or two words that best describe your feeling.
When did I first notice this feeling? How long has the feeling been going on for? Did you just begin feeling it, or has it been looming around for awhile?
What’s the primary cause of this feeling? Try to think of what event in your life caused you to feel this way. Is there something that happened that stands out?
What are possible secondary causes of this feeling? What are some other factors that may be contributing to this emotion? Are there multiple “little things” that may have built up throughout the day?
Am I tired or stressed? Often times general stress and fatigue can amplify our emotions. For example, this recent study found that sleepless nights are more likely to lead to anger and arguments among couples.
How should I respond to this feeling? What’s the best course of action to take in response to this emotion? Should you talk to someone, listen to music, go for a walk, or do something productive? Should I just wait for this feeling to pass? Just because you feel something doesn’t mean you need to act on it. Sometimes it’s better to just “ride out” an emotion until it subsides. Our feelings are only temporary, they don’t last forever.