Beheaded

Ways to boost energy

Studies suggest working out can actually increase productivity enough to counteract that time away from the office.

take a quick midday power nap instead

cocoa have been shown to boost cognitive skills and improve mood

Just 20 minutes outdoors is enough to feel more alive.

regular, healthy meals and snacks can improve cognitive function

Complex carbs (like whole grains) are a good bet.

Just a few desk stretches may be enough, but studies have suggested a little yoga could fight depression and anxiety or other stress-related disorders

chemicals can have both long and short-term effects, including energy-draining allergies and headaches. Add a plant, though, and those threats could diminish.

studies suggest laughing can boost energy levels,

there's no need to invest in a light therapy box if there's a sunny window available.

chewing gum can increase alertness and improve mood.

making the brain work a little quicker may help the body follow suit! Thinking faster (i.e. reading at a quicker pace, brainstorming in a group, or learning a new concept) made one group of study subjects feel more energized

a three-minute long cold shower could be enough to counteract some of the effects of chronic fatigue

Deep yoga breathing from the diaphragm gets blood pumping, which also may boost energy all day long

it can be hard to remember to drink enough water. But even mild dehydration can cause sleepiness, so try chugging a glass or two when fatigue strikes

Turn up the volume. Don't just turn on to tunes to chill out

one study showed singing significantly increased energy levels among college students (more than just listening quietly to tunes)

Plan to do the most engaging or interesting task of the day during the sleepiest time of day

Being too cold may cause the body's temperature to drop, which tells it "time to sleep!"

Move closer to a window. The daylight, fresh air, or even simply a natural view can all help boost alertness.

eople who are less social are generally less happy and don't sleep as well. And compared to sedentary or quiet office work, chatting it up made study subjects feel more awake.

Lemon is considered a stimulating scent, and one study showed it improved subjects' moods

the color red is associated with winning and self-confidence. Try looking at some red or violet hues (or wearing them) to feel more awake.

Sit up straight, though—that's shoulders back, eyes dead ahead, and lower back slightly arched—to feel more energized and possibly even get a boost of self-confidence

getting away from the desk at lunchtime could help reenergize and refocus

People who eat breakfast every morning report less fatigue

yoga, which uses various postures and deep breathing for exercise and meditation, can be an excellent fatigue fighter

Singing gives you a kind of emotional high while it reduces levels of stress hormones in your body. So grab a hairbrush, put on your favorite song, and sing away

Try to get to the fridge or water cooler for a refill every few hours. The walk there will also help you wake up.

Eat a handful of almonds or peanuts, which are high in magnesium and folate (folic acid). These nutrients are essential for energy and cell production.

Grab a mint from your bag. Peppermint's sweet aroma is another fatigue fighter for some people. More research is needed to see if and how these aromas actually affect a person's energy level.

Regularly squeezing a workout into your day -- even if you can spare only 10 minutes at a time -- will help keep your energy levels at their peak.

Research suggests that just a few minutes of walking outside on a warm, clear day may enhance mood, memory, and the ability to absorb new information. Going outside can even improve your self-esteem.

Snacks that combine protein with slow-burning carbs -- like banana slices with peanut butter, or granola with fresh berries -- are best for maintaining your blood sugar levels over the long term.

Hang out with upbeat friends. Emotions are surprisingly contagious. People who are constantly negative and down can sap your energy,

Fusion and defusion on thoughts

From This Is How To Use Mindfulness To Make Better Decisions

A lot of the time you know what the smart thing to do is. But you’re still worried about how it might turn out. Or regrets about a past decision are making you overthink things.

So you play it too safe. Or you get reckless and swing for the fences. Or you’re paralyzed and procrastinate. But there’s a way out of this loop.

Thousands and thousands of years ago, Caveman #1 thought a snake was a stick, got bitten, died and didn’t reproduce. Caveman #2, who walked around petrified that every stick was a snake, had lots of kids and now we’re stuck with brains that create problems even when there aren’t any. Thanks, evolution.

How To Stop Negative Thoughts Forever? You can’t. The end.

Your brain makes thoughts. That’s what it does. Suppression of unwanted thoughts can lead to a rebound effect: an increase in both intensity and frequency of the unwanted thoughts. So stop trying. Wrestling with them only makes them worse. But that doesn’t have to lead to poor decisions and bad behavior. Your thoughts don’t immediately control your actions. You get to decide.

Sometimes you take that storyteller in your head all too seriously. So seriously, in fact, that you think that negative voice in your head is you and you run with whatever it says: - “I’m such an idiot.” - “This will never work.” - “I’m no good at this, it’s gonna blow up in my face and be shown on national television.” This is fusion. It’s when an idea pops into your head and you take it as fact. Things don’t go your way and the grey matter pops out: “Life sucks!” And you believe it. That’s you fusing with a judgment.

In a state of cognitive fusion, we’re inseparable from our thoughts: we’re welded to them, bonded to them, so caught up in them that we aren’t even aware that we are thinking…. Cognitive fusion basically means that our thoughts dominate our behavior.

When you fuse with bad memories you get regrets. When you fuse with scary visions of the future you get worried. These often end up affecting your decision making. And rarely for the better.

So how do you stop fusion? Fusion means getting caught up in our thoughts and allowing them to dominate our behavior. Defusion means separating or distancing from our thoughts, letting them come and go instead of being caught up in them. In other words, defusion means looking at thoughts rather than from thoughts; noticing thoughts rather than being caught up in thoughts; and letting thoughts come and go rather than holding on to them.

When you give defusion a try, a thought is just an idea. Maybe it’s true, maybe it’s not. You don’t have to obey it, you can merely consider it. So when you’re mindful — when you choose to defuse — worries and other negative thoughts cease to be a blaring fire alarm that you must react to. Instead, they’re a smartphone notification that you can choose to ignore.

You’re acknowledging that the negative thoughts are not “you” — they’re your brain. You didn’t say “I’m such a loser” — your brain did. You’re creating some distance there. And you can use that distance to question the thought. Often you’ll question the thought and come back with, “But it’s true. I am a loser. I screwed this up last time and I’ll screw it up again.” Now you and I could go round and round with me telling you it’s not true and you saying it is true. But is it really true? Here’s the thing: I don’t care. “Is it true?” is the wrong question. The right question is: “Is it useful?”. Is telling yourself you’re a loser going to help you do the things that will make you not-a-loser? Nope.

So when that thought pops into your head ask yourself: is this thought going to help you be who you want to be? does it help you to get all caught up in it? Does it motivate you to exercise, or eat well, or spend time doing the things that make life rich and rewarding? Then make a decision based on what’s really relevant — not your worries, regrets or fears.

Over time, you want to make note of the thoughts you regularly fuse with. (Maybe it’s “I can’t handle this” or “I’m going to embarrass myself.”). And then gently make fun of it: Oh, so we’re playing the “I’m not good enough” song again? It takes practice to not get swept away by your thoughts. You’re going to have to spend time at it.

Connecting with our emotions

Connecting with our emotions

For many of us, it can be hard to properly express our emotions.

Emotions play a huge role in how we understand the world and communicate to others. It is therefore very important that we learn how to connect more with our emotional self.

The first step in connecting more with your emotional self is to be aware of signs of emotional repression.

One common sign that you are repressing your emotions is that your emotions often erupt unexpectedly. For example, you spend a long time not telling someone about this little thing that bothers you, and then one day you just explode at them.

When you don’t allow yourself to express or release emotions in a healthy way, they can build up to a point where you can no longer control them.

Give time to ask yourself how you feel everyday

Just spending 5-10 minutes sitting down, and questioning your feelings, can make a big difference in how well connected you are to your emotional self.

And if you practice meditation, consider spending a whole session just using your emotions as the object of focus.

Often times people who aren’t connected with their emotional self feel a constant need to “rationalize” their emotions.

They can’t just “feel” for the sake of “feeling.” There needs to be a reason, a purpose, or an explanation behind every feeling they ever have.

let yourself experience an emotion without needing to find some underlying reason behind it.

Not every emotion is going to be explainable.

In fact, often times emotions express a special kind of “knowledge” about ourselves and our world that can’t be translated verbally.

You need to sometimes accept emotions as a language of their own.

Talk to other people about how you feel

Talking more about your feelings allows you to be honest about your emotional self, and gives others the opportunity to offer insight that you may have not considered.

Many emotions are emotions driven by our relationships with other people – social emotions – like love, anger, disappointment, shame, embarrassment, guilt, and pride.

Find ways to express emotions creatively

This can include any activities such as music, writing, photography, painting, film-making, dancing, or whatever you are passionate about.

Having creative outlets also gives you a chance to digest your emotions at a unique and personal level that can’t usually be achieved through only introspection and conversation.

Mirror other people’s face and body language

Emotions are usually a combination of both our internal thoughts and feelings, but also our external facial expressions and body language.

One trick to help get yourself more used to expressing your emotions is to practice mirroring other people’s face and body language.

Do it first on your own time – Google images of people expressing different emotions and practice doing them by yourself. Often times just mimicking an emotion at a physical level can make you begin to feel it at a psychological level.

This exercise at first may seem silly, but it can really help “loosen your emotional muscles,” which makes it easier for you to express yourself spontaneously during your social interactions.

Another great tool in helping you connect more with your emotional self is to watch movies or TV, read a book, or listen to music that elicits strong emotions.

Horror movies give us a chance to experience terror and fear. Romance novels give us a chance to experience lust and love. And dramas give us a chance to experience sadness and grief. All of these provide a safe and healthy way to tap into different emotions.

Emotional Connection

Emotional Connection: What it is and how to get it

create a new, secure sense of emotional connection with your partner.

emotional connection? It’s an overused term that means many things. In this context, emotional connection is not just affection, terms of endearment, or closeness in day-to-day living. Rather, it is the knowledge that your partner empathizes with you and will turn toward you when you need them. Emotional connection is the kind of primal safety you get from knowing that you are seen, valued, and comforted in your most vulnerable moments.I would go so far as to say that emotional connection is the number one factor in building healthy relationships.

Engaging and Connecting Understand your own attachment needs by asking yourself the following two questions: “What am I most afraid of?” and “What do I need most from my partner?” Are you afraid of feeling overwhelmed, out of control, alone, misunderstood, unloved, or needy? Be specific. Then, speak openly about your needs in a way that invites your partner into a new dialogue. For example: “I want you to accept that I am more emotional than you. When I’m upset I want you to touch me.” This process must be reciprocal.

Forgiving Injuries Unresolved traumas do not heal on their own. They must be confronted and healed together. But what exactly is forgiveness? Forgiveness is not a moral decision, nor is it acceptance of transgressions. Rather, it is a healing conversation that involves deep empathy, accountability and the willingness to trust again. Here are some steps you can take: The partner who is hurt speaks their pain. The injuring partner stays emotionally present and acknowledges the pain, remaining curious. The hurt partner commits to reversing the “never again” philosophy that came from the injury, by allowing their psyche to update the script. For example, the hurt partner will let go of: “Never again will I seek reassurance from you.” The injuring partner takes ownership of the injury, and expresses regret and remorse. This cannot be defensive or detached, like “Look, I’m sorry, ok?” The hurt partner identifies what they need right now to bring closure to the trauma. Ask directly.

Bonding through Sex and Touch Move away from sex that is primarily about seeking orgasm, sexual power, or reassurance of your value or desirability. Instead, create a sex life that is built on emotional openness, responsiveness and erotic exploration all at the same time. To do so, first answer these questions for yourself: What helps you feel emotionally safe in bed with your partner? What are your four most important expectations of intimacy? What do you like? How do you like to be seduced? What makes you the most uncomfortable?

using this information, you can each answer the following statement for each other: “If I were perfect in bed, I could, I would _ and then you would feel more _. If this conversation is too hard at first, then just begin talking about the difficulty you are having.

Maintaining your progress To take your growth into the future, make the time to follow these steps: Recap the danger points in your relationship, ie. where you slide into old habits, Celebrate the positive moments, big and small, Plan rituals around the moments of separation and reunion, Identify recurring arguments and deciding how to handle them up front, Create a “resilient relationship story” (rewriting your script), and Create a future love story. Outline what you’d like your bond to look like years from now, and how you can each make this vision a reality.

Self Awareness

Self Awareness

One of the first pillars of emotional intelligence is self-awareness. This is the process of better understanding your feelings through self-observation and self-inquiry.

It requires that we look at our emotions from an objective viewpoint, and then be honest about what’s causing them and how they are influencing our actions.

your feelings can be misleading if you always react to them without question. In certain times, it’s a good idea to step back and question your feelings before you choose the best way to respond to them.

What am I feeling? Don’t just say you feel “good” or “bad” – be specific. Is it “sadness” or “anger” or “disappointment?” Try your best to find one or two words that best describe your feeling.

When did I first notice this feeling? How long has the feeling been going on for? Did you just begin feeling it, or has it been looming around for awhile?

What’s the primary cause of this feeling? Try to think of what event in your life caused you to feel this way. Is there something that happened that stands out?

What are possible secondary causes of this feeling? What are some other factors that may be contributing to this emotion? Are there multiple “little things” that may have built up throughout the day?

Am I tired or stressed? Often times general stress and fatigue can amplify our emotions. For example, this recent study found that sleepless nights are more likely to lead to anger and arguments among couples.

How should I respond to this feeling? What’s the best course of action to take in response to this emotion? Should you talk to someone, listen to music, go for a walk, or do something productive? Should I just wait for this feeling to pass? Just because you feel something doesn’t mean you need to act on it. Sometimes it’s better to just “ride out” an emotion until it subsides. Our feelings are only temporary, they don’t last forever.